halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
