You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Randomize