He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
