So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
