Ambien. No doubt about it.
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Help. Why am I so naked?
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