Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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