6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize