Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
