Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
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