Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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