omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Princesses don't give blow jobs
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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