she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Randomize
