Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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