We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Naked. naked and bneed help.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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