i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
