Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
