I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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