i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Randomize
