They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Randomize
