So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize