Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
