3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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