i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
