babies were throwing up all over the place
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
