i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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