If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
