uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
