I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
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