So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
