I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize