took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Randomize
