i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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