my vag is so smooth its legendary
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
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