We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Randomize
