The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Randomize
