So drunk, too bad you don't want this
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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