dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
