I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
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