I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
