I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Just cropdusted the office
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
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