You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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