Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
