I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I want to be your penis for a week.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
