New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
