He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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