Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Randomize
