thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
