Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Randomize
