The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
