I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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