Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
