you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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