i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
