she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
My nipple is on Facebook.
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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