Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Sorry about my life...
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
