It's Friday. Sex?
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Randomize
