someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
Jerry, you need to find god
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
a search helicopter?!
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Randomize
