Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize
