Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
you never un-have a 4some
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Randomize
