I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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