DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
